Posts Tagged ‘questions’

I Am The Awful Dreaded Monster Thing, Omg.

December 16, 2009

it doesn’t go over well at parties.

I identify myself and learned men

recoil in horror.


“it cannot be!”

“I never would have thought!”

“are you fuckin’ serious?”

I am, as a matter of fact, fuckin’ serious.


lately it’s been hard, the questions

and uncomfortable pauses

in conversation.

“but you don’t seem…uh… “

“I never would have guessed…“

“that surprises me becau – “


I know, I know.

I don’t communicate via nonverbal grunts

or have the brain circumference

of a bottle cap, so nobody

really knows how

to handle it.


I don’t either.

Good Punctuation

October 21, 2009

I like question marks, ‘cause
they’re all curvy and unsafe, like
black ice on cul de sacs
or experienced prostitutes.
I like periods and exclamation marks too, ‘cause
without ‘em you can’t do things
like “Let’s go to the grocery store,”
or “Unhand her, you fiend!”
Some people only like
the periods and exclamation marks,
which must be hard ‘cause
they can’t do things
like, “What happens when we die?”
or, “Did I get the lettuce out of my teeth?”
or quote that cool Talking Heads song
about what you may say to yourself
when you have a beautiful house
and a beautiful wife.
Jumping off cliffs can be scary,
but if you leap into a lake
you scream and land with a splash
then suck down big gulps of fresh air
when you come up, which is
what question marks can be like
if you let them.