Posts Tagged ‘children’

Slugs Don’t Want Your Pity

February 18, 2010

you are an asshole.  that is fine.

you live in my house.  that is fine.

you invite slugs over for dinner.

they refuse to leave.  they are assholes.

you offer them drinks.

after the slugs are dead you say

you gave them saltwater.

that is fine.

you feed my children the dead slugs.

they are hungry.

they have strong immune systems.

they will grow up to be assholes.

that is fine.

my children are pissed.

you said the slugs were fries.

my children cannot tell the difference

between slugs and fries.

my children are stupid.

I tell them to stop crying

and go to bed because

it is late and no one cares

about their feelings.

you slither over and stand

in my intimate space.

your cheeks are flushed

and your pupils are dilated.

I will not have sex with you.

you are an asshole.


do not feel sorry for slugs.

they don’t feel sorry or anything else.

you are still an asshole.


get out of my house.

Deathwish of a Paranoid Neo-Conservative

October 21, 2009

The ticker reads “Obama misread Cuban offer”

And “Pakistan faces mortal threat.”

I’m waiting for when it comes right out, says

“Better hold on to your hats, motherfuckers,

It’s Armageddon time.”


We’ll be scared shitless

By big guns and bigger planes

And we’ll shove our children

out back doors, whispering

Run as fast as you can; don’t stop for anyone!

But their fat Dorito-fed asses

Won’t escape.


I hope when they drag us

From our houses to off us

We’ll be tied back-to-back

to save bullets, the same slug

Passing through our wet, pink mouths

We’ll sing to soothe our panicked brains,

“We’re still a-livin’, so everything’s OK”

As they blast our blindfolded faces

To smithereens.