Sometimes I play this game where I think of products other than Chevrolet trucks that it’d be fun to sing “Like a Rock” about, ideally in a voice imitating the sex noises of Bob Seger and Scott Stapp’s theoretical love child.

How about:

  • Tampons
  • Cocaine
  • Faux marble countertops
  • Bread

Unbeknownst to him, an ant was skittering around in one of my former professor’s mustaches today and I did a terrible job of not looking at it.

Tonight I had dinner with friends I haven’t seen in a while.  We sat in the nice chairs of the nice patio dining set on the nice concrete-and-brick back porch next to a nice manicured lawn in the nice weather eating nice spaghetti and salad and almond biscotti and fresh peaches from Heaven and Dos Equis and black coffee at my nice former professor’s house (but not the same one whose mustache had an ant in it).

I said SCIENCE a lot.

Nothing I say is important, and that is a huge relief.



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