I Am The Awful Dreaded Monster Thing, Omg.

it doesn’t go over well at parties.

I identify myself and learned men

recoil in horror.


“it cannot be!”

“I never would have thought!”

“are you fuckin’ serious?”

I am, as a matter of fact, fuckin’ serious.


lately it’s been hard, the questions

and uncomfortable pauses

in conversation.

“but you don’t seem…uh… “

“I never would have guessed…“

“that surprises me becau – “


I know, I know.

I don’t communicate via nonverbal grunts

or have the brain circumference

of a bottle cap, so nobody

really knows how

to handle it.


I don’t either.


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5 Responses to “I Am The Awful Dreaded Monster Thing, Omg.”

  1. dusty Says:

    what’s a “circumference”?

    • Layne Ransom Says:

      Peace talks between ovals and ellipses.

      • dusty Says:

        I think at this point it would be ok for you guys to demand peace without having to talk about it.

        I’m a nut and get more than a little strange sometimes. But persistence has paid off.

        I’m hoping that ovals and ellipses are so similar that you’ll just let me get away with “sorry” and “thank you”

  2. Layne Ransom Says:

    Let me say that I am delighted by the fact that one of the “possibly related posts (automatically generated)” is titled “WHO WANTS PIE?”

    I’ll tell you, I want pie. I want pie.

    • dusty Says:

      lucky fuch her,
      that,s not the related posts that show up when I click it.

      you guys are handling it just fine. they really are lucky people were willing to put in so much time.

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