Vomit Was Released In 1956 And Went To #1 On The U.S. Country Charts. It Got Pretty Good Reviews.

Vomit.

.

Just say it.  Vomit.

.

There’s nothing wrong with saying it.

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People vomit.

.

I bet there are at least a dozen people vomiting right now, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

.

I mean, it’s unfortunate that they are vomiting, but there is now therefore no condemnation for those who vomit.

.

“Get sick” and “be ill” are spineless cowards who weep on their mothers’ aprons.  I have no use for them, and neither should you.

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No one has ever been as honest with me as Vomit.  When it said, “You should really break up with that asshole,” I vomited in your car and didn’t apologize. When it said, “You’ve put on some weight over the past year; do you really think you need that chicken alfredo?”  I vomited in the toilet and sprayed lavender-scented disinfectant.  When it said,“I think your struggles with weight and being single have led to some self-esteem problems that have caused you to become bulimic,” I said, “What the fuck man, you told me to do all that shit.” Vomit replied, “Hey, nobody’s perfect.  And now your ass looks fantastic.”

.

Besides, my mother told me never to marry a man ashamed of his own vomit.  Therefore, we are over.

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2 Responses to “Vomit Was Released In 1956 And Went To #1 On The U.S. Country Charts. It Got Pretty Good Reviews.”

  1. dusty Says:

    sounds like intelligent advice

  2. Adam Says:

    I almost vomited at our pop opera this past Friday. I was so nervous.

    And I’ve only vomited once in the last thirteen years, when I got food poisoning.

    This list of useless vomit facts brought to you by me.

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