Vomit Was Released In 1956 And Went To #1 On The U.S. Country Charts. It Got Pretty Good Reviews.



Just say it.  Vomit.


There’s nothing wrong with saying it.


People vomit.


I bet there are at least a dozen people vomiting right now, and there’s nothing wrong with that.


I mean, it’s unfortunate that they are vomiting, but there is now therefore no condemnation for those who vomit.


“Get sick” and “be ill” are spineless cowards who weep on their mothers’ aprons.  I have no use for them, and neither should you.


No one has ever been as honest with me as Vomit.  When it said, “You should really break up with that asshole,” I vomited in your car and didn’t apologize. When it said, “You’ve put on some weight over the past year; do you really think you need that chicken alfredo?”  I vomited in the toilet and sprayed lavender-scented disinfectant.  When it said,“I think your struggles with weight and being single have led to some self-esteem problems that have caused you to become bulimic,” I said, “What the fuck man, you told me to do all that shit.” Vomit replied, “Hey, nobody’s perfect.  And now your ass looks fantastic.”


Besides, my mother told me never to marry a man ashamed of his own vomit.  Therefore, we are over.


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2 Responses to “Vomit Was Released In 1956 And Went To #1 On The U.S. Country Charts. It Got Pretty Good Reviews.”

  1. dusty Says:

    sounds like intelligent advice

  2. Adam Says:

    I almost vomited at our pop opera this past Friday. I was so nervous.

    And I’ve only vomited once in the last thirteen years, when I got food poisoning.

    This list of useless vomit facts brought to you by me.

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